Friday’s Math Puzzle

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“With me, everything turns into mathematics.”  –  René Descartes

Happy Friday, wherever you are! 

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Source photos: Google Images

 

 

Corvin Castle – Hunedoara

 

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Every childhood is beautiful, however the kid lives.  Children are all beautiful, as they have something which later will be lost, the  quality of innocence. The  primary one…

Mine is in an  awesome way linked to one of the beautiful castles in the world. Of course I did not realize this while was running with my fellow around of it, captivated by the mystery and stories about the place. For our small world was the only one.

 Later in teenage  time, we used to have here our meetings, as the Castle has been for a long time one of the main points of entertainment in the town. Meanwhile a little cinema worked in the court, and for that time I could say it was a big blessing. My fellow understand better, as we lived in a time with not that much opening to the world.

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Here were organized almost all the cultural contests in the town. I would like to point out, in that time, even we were quite isolated by world, and the PCR structures controlled everything, still had a high quality of culture. Despite of the censure, which was at all the levels, we still strived  to keep high standards. Culturally speaking. Education was at that time one of the best. Apart of being nostalgic, is only a thing that I want to highlight as maybe we could improve something today, learning from the good facts happened before.

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Regarding our cultural contests, that were organized by the  County Scholl Inspectorate, I have a funny innocent story.

  One day I was asked  by the Romanian Language teacher to write a poetry about the  president Ceausescu. Of course at that time, we had to praise  him and the work of PCR. Being child , I did not pay  that much attention to the importance of the president and to the fact we should praise him, even I found this quite strange. However,  I wrote a very short poem, and when presented to the teacher before the contest, I said in a very funny way: I did not mention  the name of the president, cause if the next year we will have other president, my poem will still be available!

The teacher was laughing in a hided way, and looking at me very kind, said that we  need to introduce his name there. We did that  and went together to the Castle for the contest. I only remember the atmosphere there. Everybody enjoyed even was in quite dark time. 

 Otherwise  every single person  which  lived in that time knows the “medicine” for the big frustration we lived, were the jokes. Ceausescu jokes and of course, the Romanian brand jokes with Bula.

I am thankful  to the life for every single moment of my childhood. Even not having high technology, the good brands of toys, or other luxury things, I enjoyed my moments taking advantage from what  the place offered. Mostly this beautiful Castle. And even others, but of these I will be back with other posts.

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Today  Corvin Castle still attracts many tourists  in every year. More about the Castle could be found here.

Regarding me, I will always be there in every single visit of my town. As somebody said so beautiful:

“When you finally go back to your old home, you find it wasn’t the old home you missed but your childhood”

I really miss my time!

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Rain And The Hidden Words

Why does Snoop dog need an umbrella?  Fo’ Drizzle.

Why did the man use ketchup in the rain?  Because it was raining cats and hot dogs.

What do you call a months worth of rain? England.

Why do cows lie down in the rain?  To keep each udder dry.

Where’s the best place to store your rain?  In a cloud bank.

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Source photo: Google Images 

A guy gets pulled over for speeding on a rainy day. The cop says, “Isn’t it kind of stupid to be driving so fast in this weather?”  The driver says, “Who’s stupid? I’m dry in my car. You’re the one who’s standing out in the rain.”

 

Sunday Jokes

A nursing assistant, a floor nurse and a charge nurse from a small nursing home were all having their lunch break in the break room.

Suddenly, a stately lady dressed in silk scarves and wearing large polished-stone jewelry walked in.

She grandly said, “I am Gina the Great. I’m so pleased with the way you’ve looked after my aunt that I’m going to grant you one wish each!”

Then she waved of her hand. There was a puff of smoke and the room was suddenly full of flowers, fruit and bottles of drink, proving that she did indeed have the power to grant wishes.

The nurses quickly discussed among themselves who should ask for the first wish.

Eventually the nursing assistant wished first. She said, “I wish I was on a beautiful tropical island, with single, handsome young men feeding me fruit and tending to my every need.”

There was another puff of smoke and the nursing assistant disappeared.

The floor nurse was next to make her wish. She said, “I wish I was rich and retired, and spending my days in my own cosy, warm cabin at a ski resort with beautiful, well-groomed men feeding me wine and chocolates.”

There was yet another puff of smoke and the floor nurse too was gone.

The lady asked the charge nurse, “Now, what is the final wish?”

The charge nurse said, “I want those two back on the floor at the end of the lunch break.”

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Source: Google Images 

A nurse sees a guy wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital so she stops him and asks what’s wrong.

He says, “I’m due to have an operation but I heard the nurse say, ‘It’s a very simple operation, don’t worry, I’m sure it will be all right.’”

The nurse says, “That’s okay, she was just trying to comfort you. What’s so frightening about that?”

The guy replies, “She was talking to the doctor!”

***

A practical nurse is one who marries a rich, terminally ill patient.

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Google Images 

A lady went for a routine physical examination at the doctor’s office.

The nurse handed her a urine specimen container and said, “The bathroom is over there on your right. The doctor will be with you in a few minutes.”

A few minutes later the lady came out of the bathroom with an empty container and a relieved look on her face.

She said to the nurse, “Thanks, but they had a toilet in there, so I didn’t need this after all.”

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Google Images 

Paddy’s wife was ready to give birth so he rushes her to hospital.

When he gets there the nurse asks him, “How dilated is she?”

Paddy replies, “Oh Jaysus, we’re both over the moon.”

***

How do you know that a dead body found by the side of the road is a nurse?

Because its stomach is empty, its bladder is full, and its ass chewed.

***

An old nurse is talking to her young colleague and says to her, “My new patient has the weirdest tattoo on his penis. It’s the word SWAN.”

The young nurse is intrigued and so she persuades the old nurse to swap patients with her so she can see the strange tattoo too.

Afterwards, the young nurse reports back to the old one, “You don’t read very well. The tattoo says SASKATOON SASKATCHEWAN.”

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Google Images 

Three nurses died and went to heaven. They were sent to see St. Peter to plead their case to enter the pearly gates.

The first nurse said, “I worked in an emergency room. We tried our best to help patients, even though occasionally we did lose one. I think I deserve to go to heaven.”

St. Peter looked at her file and admits her to heaven.

The second nurse said, “I worked in an operating room. It’s a very high stress environment and we do our best. Sometimes the patients are too sick and we lose them, but overall we try very hard. I think I deserve to go to heaven.”

St. Peter looked at her file and admits her to heaven.

The third nurse said, “I was a case manager for an HMO.”

St. Peter looked at her file. He pulled out a calculator and started punching away at it furiously, constantly going back to the nurse’s file.

After a few minutes St. Peter looked up, smiled, and said, “Congratulations! You’ve been admitted to heaven…

For five days!”

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Google Images 

A skilled nurse died and went to heaven where she was met by St. Peter, who explained, “We have a policy of letting you to choose whether you want to spend eternity in heaven or in hell.”

The nurse asked him, “But how do I know which to choose?”

“That’s easy,” said St. Peter, “You  just spend a day in each place before deciding.”

With that, he put the nurse in an elevator and sent her down to hell.

When she reached the bottom the elevator doors opened and the nurse found herself in a sunny garden, where many former friends and colleagues warmly greeted her. She had a great time all day laughing and talking about old times. That night, she had an excellent supper in a fantastic restaurant. She even met the devil, who turned out to be a pretty nice guy. Before she knew it, her day in hell was over and she returned to heaven.

The day in heaven was okay. She lounged around on clouds, sang, and played the harp.

At the end of the day, St. Peter came and asked for her decision.

“Well, heaven was okay,” the nurse said, “but to be honest I had a much better time in hell. So I know it sounds strange, but I choose hell.”

With that, she got in the elevator and went back down.

When she got to the bottom and the doors opened, she saw a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. Her friends, dressed in rags, were picking up garbage and putting it in sacks.

When the devil walked over, she said to him, “I don’t understand. Yesterday, this place was beautiful. We had a delicious meal and a wonderful time laughing and talking.”

The devil smiled and said, “Yesterday we were recruiting you. Today you’re staff.”

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Google Images 

Q: Did you hear about the nurse who died and went straight to hell?

A: It took her two weeks to realize that she wasn’t at work anymore!

Jokes’ source: Google Brother

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Google Images 

 

Engineering

An engineer who was unemployed for a long time decided to open a medical clinic. He puts a sign outside the clinic: “A cure for your ailment guaranteed at $500; we’ll pay you $1,000 if we fail.”

A Doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to earn $1,000 and goes to his clinic.
Doctor: “I have lost my sense of taste.”
Engineer: “Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Doctor: “This is Gasoline!”
Engineer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”


The Doctor gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days later to recover his money.
Doctor: “I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything.”
Engineer: “Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Doctor: “But that is Gasoline!”
Engineer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”


The Doctor leaves angrily and comes back after several days, more determined than ever to make his money back.
Doctor: “My eyesight has become weak.”
Engineer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for this. Take this $1,000,” passing the doctor a $500 note.
Doctor: “But this is $500…”
Engineer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your vision back! That will be $500.”

Source: Google Brother 

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Bringing the jokes to the X-Ray

Q: Why didn’t the radiologist marry the radiographer?
A: Well, they saw through each other!

***

Three consultants went duck hunting – a radiologist, a surgeon and a pathologist. The radiologist was up first. The ducks flew over and he aimed the shotgun but didn’t fire. When asked why he replied that he thought they were ducks on the AP view, but by the time he could see them in the lateral it was too late. Next was the surgeon. As the ducks came along he started firing wildly in the air, ducks falling like rain. When the smoke cleared he directed his residents to collect the ducks and then handed them to the pathologist saying “here you are. Now tell me are these ducks or not?”

***

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An internist, a surgeon and a radiologist go duck hunting. There aren’t any ducks, so they start bragging about their dogs. Finally they decide to have a contest.

They put down a chocolate chip cake. The internist points to the cake and says to his dog, “Sic it, Osler!”

Osler trots to the cake, takes out a notebook, and writes down all the ingredients, in descending order by concentration. Then he carries the note back to his master and wags his tail.

“Good boy, Osler! Impressive, huh?”

The surgeon snarls and says to his dog, “Get it, Halsted!”

Halsted runs over, takes out a scalpel, divides the cake into equal sections, dissects out all the chocolate chips and puts them in a container to sent to pathology. Then he goes back to his master.

“Good dog, Halsted,” the surgeon says smugly.

“You haven’t seen anything yet,” says the radiologist. “Okay, Roentgen!”

Roentgen runs over, eats the cake, screws the other two dogs, and gets home by 3 o’clock.

***

A: I have just lost an electron.
B: Are you positive?

***

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An evil genie captured a Radiologist and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing.

The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn’t die of thirst.

The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off.

The Radiologist brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window!

***

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A radiology technician in a hospital emergency room took X rays of a trauma patient. The tech brought the films to the radiologist, who studied the multiple fractures of both femurs and pelvis.

“What happened to this patient?” the radiologist asked in astonishment.

“He fell out of a tree,” the tech replied.

“What was he doing up in a tree?”

“I’m not sure, but his paperwork states he works for  Mark’s Expert Tree Pruning Service.’
Gazing intently at the X rays, the radiologist blinked and said, “Cross out ‘experts.'”

***

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Source: Google

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