Friday’s Math Puzzle

Maths

“Mathematics is the music of reason.” – James Joseph Sylvester 

 “You don’t have to be a mathematician to have a feel for numbers.” – John Forbes Nash, Jr

“It is clear that the chief end of mathematical study must be to make the students think.” – John Wesley Young

Happy Friday, wherever you are! 🙂 

Friday Math Puzze Simona Prilogan

Friday’s Math Puzzle

 

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B&Q JOB APPLICATION: This is an actual job application that a 75-year-old pensioner submitted to B&Q in Tunbridge Wells. They hired him because he was so funny….

NAME:  Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard)

SEX:  Not lately, but 1 am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate).

DESIRED POSITION:  Company’s Chief Executive or Managing Director. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying in the first place – would I?

DESIRED SALARY:  £150,000 a year plus share options and a Tony Blair style redundancy package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION:  Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY:  A lot less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:  My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:  It was a crap job.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:  Any.

PREFERRED HOURS:  1:30 – 3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:  Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?:  Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:  I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:  I may already be a winner of the Reader’s Digest Timeshare Free Holiday Offer, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job – no! On my breaks – yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:  Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy Swedish supermodel with big tits and who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE?: 7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:  Oh yes. absolutely.

—————————————————————————————————————————————–
After landing my new job as a B & Q “Greeter”, a good find for many retirees. I lasted less than a day . . . . .

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, Tattooed Bognor Babe walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been instructed, I said, pleasantly, 
“Good morning and welcome to B & Q.” I then said, 
“Nice children you have there. Are they twins?” The woman stopped yelling long enough to say,  “No, they ain’t effin twins. The oldest one’s 9, and the other one’s 7, why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just effin stupid?” I replied, “I’m neither blind nor stupid, Madam. I just couldn’t believe someone sha**ed you twice….

Have a good day and thank you for shopping at B & Q.”

My supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work. 

(Source: Google Brother) 

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Friday math puzzle

Happy Friday, wherever you are! 

Rewrite Sunlight

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It was a time when my only solace were the dreams I had inside… Till I have learnt how to embrace them to the Light and let them Live!

Happy to be part of the new poetry anthology book from “All poetry” – Rewrite Sunlight 

Happy Friday, wherever you are! ( Friday’s Math Puzzle moved here.)

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Friday’s Math Puzzle

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 -Where do math teachers go on vacation?

-To Times Square 

***

-Why is a math book always unhappy?

-Because it always has lots of problems. 

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-Why is 6 afraid of 7?

-Because 7 8 9 
***

-What happened to the plant in math class?

-It grew square roots. 

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-How does a math professor propose to his fiance? 

-With a polynomial ring! 

***

-What is the most erotic number?

-2110593!

-Why?

-When 2 are 1 and don’t pay at10tion, they’ll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, they’ll be 3 

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-What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?

-A middle school math problem! 

***

What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?

-The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work – the philosopher can do without the trash bin. 

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Happy Friday, wherever you are! 🙂 

Friday’s Math Puzzle

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“Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries; for mathematics, the cultural world is one country.” – David Hilbert

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“A lot of music is mathematics. It’s balance.” –  Mel Brooks

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“The power of mathematics is often to change one thing into another, to change geometry into language.” – Marcus du Sautoy

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“Mathematics allows for no hypocrisy and no vagueness.” –  Stendhal

Happy Friday, wherever you are! 

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Friday’s Math Puzzle

Game time! 

Happy Friday, wherever you are!   🙂 

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Source photos: Google Images

 

“I love math, but I know that I’m unusual. Math anxiety is a rampant problem across the country. Researchers now know that when people with math anxiety encounter numbers, a fear center in the brain lights up — the same fear center that lights up when people see snakes or spiders. Anxiety is not limited to low-achieving students. Many of the undergraduates I teach at Stanford University, some of the most successful students in the nation, are math traumatized. In recent interviews, students have told me that learning math in school was like being on a “hamster wheel” — they felt like they were running and running, without reaching any meaningful destination. A seventh grader told me that math learning was like prison, because his mind felt “locked up.”  Jo Boaler- Stanford University professor and co-founder of youcubed.org (Read more here )

Friday’s Math Puzzle

“It has become almost a cliché to remark that nobody boasts of ignorance of literature, but it is socially acceptable to boast ignorance of science and proudly claim incompetence in mathematics.”  – Richard Dawkins

Happy Friday, wherever you are! 

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Source photo: Google Images 

Friday’s Math Puzzle

“Small minds discuss persons.

Average minds discuss events.

Great minds discuss ideas.

Really great minds discuss mathematics.”

( Unknown )

Happy Friday, wherever you are! 🙂 

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Source photos: Google Images

Friday’s Math Puzzle

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“With me, everything turns into mathematics.”  –  René Descartes

Happy Friday, wherever you are! 

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Source photos: Google Images